Category: My Life Mastery Secrets

When I was a little girl growing up in Birmingham Alabama, I prayed all the time. It wasn’t because I was religious because at such a young age I didn’t know what that meant. I prayed everyday because Jesus was my friend.  That’s what grownups told me and I heard it in church. I figured since we were friends Jesus would be happy to hear from me.

I also found the Bible to be my favorite book. Of course the vivid pictures were my favorite portions but as I grew older I found joy in reading the words. I used to read the scriptures out loud and I especially enjoyed personalizing them. It made me feel as though Jesus were speaking directly to me.   This might sound a little odd to you, but below is a sample of one of my favorite personalized scriptures.  Read it and see if you feel the power of those words.

Psalm 91 ¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^{[a] 2} I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” ³ Surely He will save Me from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. ⁴ He will cover ME with his feathers, and under his wings I will find refuge; his faithfulness will be MY shield and rampart. ⁵ I will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, ⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. ⁷ A thousand may fall at MY side, ten thousand at MY right hand, but it will not come near ME. ⁸ I will only observe with MY eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. ⁹ If I say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and I make the Most High MY dwelling, ¹⁰ no harm will overtake ME no disaster will come near MY tent. ¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning ME to guard ME in all MY ways; ¹² they will lift ME up in their hands, so that I will not strike MY foot against a stone. ¹³ I will tread on the lion and the cobra; I will trample the great lion and the serpent. ¹⁴ “Because she^[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. ¹⁵ SHE will call on me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble,  I will deliver her and honor her. ¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy her and show her my salvation.”

Did you feel it? Personalizing scriptures helped me to build my relationship with Jesus. This relationship has gotten me through so many ups and downs.  Knowing that no matter what life throws at me I have only to quiet my mind, relax my breathing and call on Jesus…and He is always there.   You don’t have to be a Christian or even believe what I believe about any aspect of my life. That’s the beauty of life. You get to believe whatever helps you survive the life’s ups and downs.   The point is…find something because life could care less what you choose to arm yourself with. Life just throws situations and stuff at you every single day.   It’s up to you to decide what tools you place in your personal toolbox.  I have given you a peek into mine.  The balls in your court.  What are you going to use to prepare for life’s stuff?

Beverly Jones-Durr is a published Author, Certified Life and Business Strategist and Educational Facilitator. She is also known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates programs that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. Don’t forget to check out,  “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life as a gift.  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube

One of the most important lessons a child can learn as they grow is how to become a successful leader. In the age we live in, it sometimes seems as though everyone wants the perks of being a leader, but few want to invest the time and energy that it takes to become one. If you can instill the qualities of being a true successful leader into your child, your child will be a step ahead of the rest as they grow.   Leaders are incredibly important in our society. Too many people simply follow everyone else and don’t cultivate their own beliefs and opinions. Those who will become the true leaders of society will be those who dared to step out on their own and make choices based on their values – rather than just following along the wide path that so many blindly follow. Below are some of the qualities of a successful leader that will help your child to become the best one they can be.

Learning to Follow.   Being a leader is a position that stands out to many individuals simply because they don’t like to take orders, and they may feel that being the one giving orders will solve this problem. However, being a successful leader also requires knowing how to follow the lead of others. If you want others to follow you as you wish, putting yourself under the wisdom and direction of another person will help you to stay humble and will help you remember the needs of those under you.

Letting Others Shine.   Sometimes, being in charge makes us forget that there is a time and a place for everyone to shine. Remind your child that as a leader, they should actively seek out opportunities to let others have their moment in the spotlight. A great leader makes others feel good about themselves, and giving them these opportunities will ensure that this happens often.

Working with Others.   Teaching your child to work well with others will enhance their ability to lead. Everyone loves a leader who is a team player. By building the skill of team co-operation in your child, he or she will be more prepared to become a leader who is well liked, and known for their good qualities.

Being Open to Constructive Criticism.   As a leader, your child will sometimes find themselves open to criticism from all angles. Teach them to see the good in this. When someone appears to be critical of your child’s leadership, train them to try and take at least one thing from it that they can learn. Teach them the importance of sometimes overlooking the tone that the critical remark or advice is said in. Teach them to stand up for themselves when attacked, but to learn whenever possible.

Being a leader is not the glamorous life it sometimes appears. Teach your child the true meaning of being a leader, and how the path to gaining those qualities takes strength and humility. Remind them of the importance of leaders in our society, and the need to keep their motives in check. The world will benefit from as many great leaders as are available.

Take a moment to evaluate your child.    Does your child lack self-esteem or confidence? Is your child shy or has difficulty speaking up in class?  There are many ways to build self-esteem and self-confidence.  Speech Crafters Speech and Debate Club is a great place to start. Through empowerment and encouragement, children ages 7 and up learn the process of communicating their own ideas, dreams and thoughts in a way that is clearly understood by the listener.  They develop leadership skills that will enable them to do better in school and feel confident about themselves and their abilities.   Want to learn more about Speech Crafters Speech and Debate Club and how it can help rocket your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence as well as build leadership skills?  Click HERE!

Beverly Jones-Durr is an Author, Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life and Business Strategist and Educational Facilitator. She is Founder and Executive Director at Every Child Has a Story    a 501c3 non-profit organization. Our programs,  The Writer’s Vibe, Speech Crafters Speech and Debate Club, and Jr CEO Academy – enhance self-esteem and confidence in children age 7 and up.  We have created programs that empower young people to command their voice, feelings, ideals, energy and intellect and use all of that to boost their communication skills. Speech Crafters Speech and Debate Club is a safe place for members to explore creativity and enhance their communication skills. What’s the back door benefits? We’re building Self Esteem and Self Confidence one child at a time creating tomorrow’s leaders, TODAY!  The Writer’s Vibe empowers kids to use words to write stories only they can write and become stellar wordsmiths whose talents will no doubt someday change the world.  Jr CDEO Academy develops business entreprenurial skills in young people enabling them to build successful business today. Check us out and prepare to be amazed!  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest

The world will return to you what you send out. If you are selfish or mean to others, you will be paid back with unwanted circumstances. It’s why people constantly use the phrase, “what goes around, comes around.”   When you project gratitude, life will pay you back in a positive manner. You will appreciate what you have, and it will set the stage for prosperity and success to give you even more.

But, we live in a highly negative world. This makes it easy to revert to having negative thoughts. You may believe those negative thoughts are your own, so life won’t be able to find out you’ve been thinking them. However, thoughts produce energy, so there is no hiding. Energy, whether it is positive or negative, will be projected.   You need to make gratitude become a natural part of your life, something that you think without effort. The best way to do that is to make it a habit. You will need to consciously repel the thoughts of people who introduce negativity into your life. This includes news, social media, and interacting in social settings.

Unfortunately, you cannot avoid altogether people who are negative. You can try to turn them around to being grateful, but you need to start with yourself. You’ll make little progress if you are constantly negative.   Try to develop a filter within yourself that keeps you from reacting when people say or do something negative. The easy way out is not to join the negative club but rather to put some distance as much as possible between you. Developing a filter will deflect what has been said.  This filter will also enable you to see clearer and to understand that negativity is an addiction.

Once it grabs hold of you, it is not easy to resist. This requires you to learn to let things go. Let go of the things you can’t control. We know we can’t control people, let alone what they say and do. But we can learn to control how we react and respond to it all.   When you condition yourself to be grateful constantly, this becomes the needed filter to keep negativity at bay. But, it can be fleeting without consistent practice and reinforcement. Start by making a list of everything you are grateful for. Then, each day, state out loud the items on that list. Feel free to add to the list.

The reinforcement of gratefulness will make it a part of your personality over time. People will appreciate it, even if subtly. It will make them drawn to you, and they may not know exactly the reasons why. But, you can be sure that it has much to do with your newfound clear vision and your grateful habit. Learn to let gratitude pilot your walk on life’s journey. You have nothing to lose…except negativity.  Trust me…you won’t miss it.

Beverly Jones-Durr is a published Author, Certified Life and Business Strategist and Educational Facilitator. She is also known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates programs that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. Don’t forget to check out,  “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life as a gift.  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube

Manage Your Expectations It takes time to develop worthwhile goals. Too often, people’s goals center around material things and these sorts of goals never last. Or, if they do last, and we achieve them, we move on to the next desired shiny object at warp speed. We’re wishy-washy creatures; our preferences change with the wind. Today, you might want to be a teacher. Tomorrow, your dream is to be a race car driver. The week after, your goal is to be the world’s greatest singer ever! And around and around we go — until we find our reason for existing, our purpose. We are compelled to pursue different goals on an endless quest to find our purpose. That’s the reason we bounce from one goal to the next. Purpose and passion will always be in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

We may convince ourselves that our goals will satisfy us, but they won’t. The only thing that will make you complete is having a purpose. The search to figure out what exactly your purpose is takes time. So don’t rush it…be flexible. Once you anticipate the direction your life is heading, then it’s time to figure out your goals. You need to start somewhere. We’d all like to start at the finish line, but that would defeat the purpose. Your first goal(s) should be stepping stones on your way to fulfilling your purpose. They should allow you to figure out whether the path you’re on is right for you. You’ll face difficulties, and you’ll certainly struggle. But overcoming these hurdles will give you the confidence you need to continue.

Truth is, if you’re not struggling then you’re still working inside your comfort zone…which means you are not moving forward. If you don’t move forward, you can’t become the person you were meant to be. Remember that mountain we talked about earlier? It’s real! People will try to tear you down. They won’t support you. They may even laugh at you. They’ll judge you, talk behind your back and smile as they watch you struggle. They’ll tell you that they told you so each and every time you fail. Oh yeah! You’re going to fail. There’s always an opportunity to succeed in failure.

But you need to be stubborn, focused and relentless. You need to ignore these people. You need to ignore their condescending looks. Ignore their mean words. Ignore their opinions, because everyone has an opinion about how everyone else should be living his or her own life. It’s your life! As times change, be prepared to adjust or change your methods. You need to be flexible. You need to be ready to catch those opportunities. Sometimes your methods no longer work. Sometimes there’s a more efficient way of achieving your goals. I know, you’re tired of failing. You’re tired of not reaching the destination you’ve had in mind all this time. Well, you’re not alone. Everyone hits this wall sooner or later, perhaps more than once. Sometimes life simply throws hardship our way. The time might come when you start to consider letting go of your dreams and living an “easy” life. Don’t do it! An easy life is not what you want. You think you do, but that’s just because you’re tired of struggling.

The people who figure out a new route are the ones who fulfill their dreams. If you’re not flexible about your methods, you’re going to give up. You’re going to quit. And there’s really nothing worse than giving up and living to regret it.

Beverly Jones-Durr is a published Author, Certified Life and Business Strategist and Educational Facilitator. She is also known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates programs that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. Don’t forget to check out,  “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life as a gift.  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube

January is National “Be On Purpose” month.  How fitting is that? It’s a New Year and the climate is perfect for reflections and starting fresh. As we look back over the past year, we are reflecting on lessons learned, successes accomplished and where we fell short. This reflection however, should be a quick and short one. Why? Because dwelling in the past without direction or purpose is simply a set up for failure to launch.  Are you ready to live on purpose? I know you said yes! Well, in this two-part series on living your life “On Purpose”, there are two things we need to address first before you gear up for this bright shiny New Year.

Get Focused What is your WHY? If you aren’t sure what that is…pause and let’s talk about it. By definition, “why” is that driving force that keeps you awake at night when you want to sleep. It whispers to your mind without cease urging you to keep it moving. It’s the reason you endure struggle after struggle seeking your source of hunger. No, I’m not talking about physical hunger…more like hunger of the soul. Take a minute to identify your “Why.”   Become AWARE of your hunger (what feeling are you seeking?) FREEDOM is my source of hunger. Perhaps your source is too. I want the freedom to live my best life, support my dream lifestyle and leave a legacy for my family and others. Now this one is “BIG!” You must Get Real about what it will take to pull it off. Visualize what success looks like, feels like, and sounds like. Embrace that. Take it all in. This will fuel your why and keep your momentum moving forward. It is important to stop right here and that you will need to become incredibly kind to yourself on this journey. You must be flexible and willing to adapt when your path comes to a roadblock and you find yourself standing in front of a “mountain.” Yes! There will be mountains.

Now … let’s talk about that mountain standing in your way. Mountains don’t have to be huge piles of gravel and dirt.  Mountains can be people too. People will try to change your mind and focus. If you have a BIG dream and your goals are worth achieving, people will get jealous and call you unrealistic, hopefully blind and bound for failure. It’s just life. That’s why you need to be stubborn. And, oddly enough, the most important part of standing your ground is this:

You need to be flexible about how you’ll go about achieving your goals.

If you can be stubborn with your goals and flexible with your methods, you can take on any mountain. Do you want to have a purposeful life, or do you want to live an empty and predictable existence? Living on purpose means you have to say “yes” to the first question. I know you said, YES!  So, this is what you need to do. You are going need to have goals. A life without purpose or direction isn’t much of a life at all. The only thing in this world that’s more important than having goals is finding the courage and determination to pursue them. You should always have goals to pursue, but you shouldn’t be afraid to change them if you think that’s what’s needed. It makes sense that our purpose changes with our maturity. The more we learn about the world around us — and the world inside us, for that matter — the more our beliefs change.

That’s enough for now. I’ve given you some things to think about. There’s still one more thing I want to discuss with you next week…stay tuned.

Beverly Jones-Durr is a published Author, Certified Life and Business Strategist and Educational Facilitator. She is also known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates programs that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. Don’t forget to check out,  “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life as a gift.  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube

[or_row full_width=”stretch_row” video_bg_url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOWFVKb2JqM” parallax_speed=”1″ parallax_background_size=”yes”][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”546″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”40px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Okay, let’s be honest for a few minutes. The holidays can bring more than laughter and cheer. The expectations can be so high! Hallmark and Lifetime are both competing for your time while we deck the halls with bright lights and creativity. Let’s face it…if you happen to be an ordinary person all the dazzle and hysterical shopping deals can really wear you out! Let’s not forget those Christmas “got to have” lists that seem to get bigger every year. How’s anyone suppose to keep up? Here’s a clue…we don’t have to keep up! [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2359″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] The best way to survive the materialistic holiday “foo-pha” is to remember what Christmas is all about. It is not about an 85 inch television, Xbox, PlayStations or those blue light specials of 75% off an already ridiculous price! You hold the master key to enjoying this blissful time of year. Okay, I am not Scrooge. I love giving gifts to my family and friends. I also enjoy receiving them. But the greatest gift we have ever received was Jesus. He is the reason for Christmas. His love for us embraces us every single moment of every single day…not just on Christmas Day. If you pause for just a moment…ignoring the hustle and bustle of the holiday season…you will feel that love. Open your heart and share that love with the world…we all need more of that. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2360″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Don’t let the blues take hold of you this Christmas. We have so much to be grateful and thankful for. Spend time with family and friends. If that isn’t possible, open your heart to those less fortunate. They really could use our help. Share an old coat, clothing, food, or even your time with someone who has a lot less than you. If you take the time to give to others the blues will stay away. Like Jesus did, put others needs before your own and have faith that God will supply all of yours. Holiday Blues? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That! [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”45px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”medium” image_source=”media_library” image=”2347″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”20px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Published Author, Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life and Business Strategist and Educational Facilitator. She is also known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates courses that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. Check out “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life. You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”20px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1639″ image_align=”center”][/or_column][/or_row]

You have decided that you want to change your life. Great! You’ve got a goal in mind. What can you do to ensure that you achieve success? You know that you will need to adopt certain success habits. With any change, good and solid habits must be developed to ensure success. The following rules will help you ensure successful habit formation.

Plan

Success habits don’t just happen by accident. They are created by design. Creating a plan will increase the chances of your successfully creating a new habit. Think of the plan like a roadmap. Include your starting point, the final goal and all the steps along the way. Don’t forget to note down potential stumbling blocks and how you will overcome them.   Many people include a vision board in their planning. This is a great way to see what your goal looks like and when placed somewhere that you will see it regularly can reinforce the goal you want to achieve.

Focus

You must be committed to your goal of creating a new habit. If you are not committed, then the chances of succeeding in attaining it reduce dramatically. It is important to believe that you will create your new habit and to be able to see yourself doing it.   Write down a positive statement that affirms you have created your new habit.   For example, if you want to create the success habit of waking early then you could write,

I wake at 5.00 am every day refreshed and ready to start my day. I use my extra time to run for 20 minutes and to eat a healthy breakfast.   -I spend 30 minutes reading a motivational book because I know that it helps me improve my knowledge and will inspire me.   -Before I start my work I make sure that I plan my day and make sure that I know which tasks are important for helping me to achieve my goal.

Know Yourself

Self-knowledge is crucial to creating new habits, as well as eliminating old ones.   You need to understand your strengths and weaknesses. It is important to know where you are right now, where you want to be and what needs to change.   By knowing yourself you can create a growth mind-set. This ensures that you understand that action is important and by taking action you create change which leads to success.

Practice

Habits take 21 days to become routine. This means that you need to ensure that you build time into every day to practice your new habit.   To ensure that you complete the full 21 days you need to plan and you need to identify any potential stumbling points that may cause you to want to skip a day. Knowing what might interfere in your daily habit practice ensures that you can put in place plans to overcome it.   Positive mind-set is key… as is commitment. If you are committed to creating the new success habit and understand why it is important to your overall plans and goals then you will be more able to overcome stumbling points and ensure that you practice your new habit every day until it becomes a routine part of your daily life.

Reward

When you set out to create a new success habit you have your plan for how you are going to achieve it and what your life will look like once that happens. Don’t forget to build in a reward. Make it something that you really want and value. It doesn’t have to be big but it does have to be important to you. By planning a reward when you have created your new habit you will be more emotionally invested in creating the habit.   Write down your reward or get a picture of it and put it somewhere where you will see it every day. This will reinforce the desire to succeed and strengthen your motivation to achieve your goal. By using the five rules above you will be creating a positive mental attitude towards creating a new success habit. Don’t try to create too many new habits at once. It is simpler and more realistic to create one new habit at a time. Creating successful habits is a process, and you know what I say about a process.“It Takes Time!”

Beverly Jones-Durr is a Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life Mastery Strategist Coach and Educational Facilitator. She is also known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates courses that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. Check out “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life. You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube