Terrence: A Story About Courage

[or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2030″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Terrence was a young boy who attended one of my speech and debate workshops for kids. We had just finished our first speech lesson and it was time to present a speech. This speech was the Getting To Know You speech and it was 4-6 minutes long. Speeches are timed using the signal method, Green at 4 minutes, Yellow at 5 minutes and Red at 6 minutes with 30 seconds to wrap it up. Terrence volunteered to go first. As he approached the front of the room, his big smile began to fade.  Terrence took a breath and slowly started his speech presentation looking everywhere in the room except the audience. When he finally finished he raised his head only to find out that he hadn’t made it to the green signal. Feeling frustrated, he returned to his seat. Others got up and presented their speeches. Some making it to the green and some not even close. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Before long, I noticed Terrence had his hand up. He wanted to try again. Once again he returned to the front of the room and began his speech. And once again, Terrence fell short of the 4 minute minimum. However, this time Terrence didn’t give up. He asked if he could try one more time.  I almost asked, “Are you sure?” except Terrence has a look in his eyes and his mannerisms that led me to believe that this time would be different…and it was. Not only did he speak to the green, Terrence spoke to the yellow and right up to the red!  At each signal I saw him stand taller, look his audience in the eyes, and smile. His speech was amazing, but more important was the courage he mustered together that activated his super power! Terrence didn’t give up! He kept pushing through until he was successful.  His super power was confidence and he built from the ground up! [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Have you ever tried something new that didn’t turn out like you planned?  Did you give up or did you push through the frustration to success.  No matter what we do in life getting to success doesn’t happen without some setbacks. If you allow setbacks to hold you back, you’ll never know what you are capable of doing. Courage isn’t just something for super heroes. Ordinary people, like Terrence find the courage to do the things they want to do successfully. Encourage your kids to push through their frustration. Let them know that you have faith in them. With the right support and encouragement success is inevitable for every child when they don’t give up. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”41px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2354″ image_align=”center” caption=” Registration is OPEN! “][or_spacing height=”50px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2347″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”20px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Beverly Jones-Durr is founder of Every Child Has a Story,  a registered 501(c)(3) public non – profit organization that was created to empower today’s youth by becoming the bridge in the proverbial village it takes to raise a child, connecting families and communities in a reciprocal learning experience. Through our programs, Speech Crafters Speech and Debate Club, “The Only Public Speaking Club for Kids and Teens in AL,” and “The Writer’s Vibe, “Empowering the Voices of Today’s Youth through Words,” we build stellar communication skills enhancing self-confidence and self-esteem in children and families across communities. If you would like to help Every Child Has a Story provide continued empowerment, training, workshops, and educational support to children, teens and young adults, please consider volunteering or donate.  Your support enables us to continue our mission to enhance and develop self-esteem, self-confidence, cultivate leadership and develop oral and written communication skills in children, teens and young adults.  Please click here to complete your donation through our secure and easy online donation process. Subscribe to our newsletter so you can receive updates on our successes and development of new programs. I promise we will not spam you. You can also follow Beverly on TwitterFaceBook and YouTube [/or_column_text][/or_column][/or_row]

Imperfection – Making it Work for You.

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Don’t Procrastinate       

  Let’s just dive in! First off, do the work that you need to do in order to get where you want to go. Where is it that you want to go? Well, it should be towards a place where you internalize the power inherent in the mistake making process. This is a state of mind where you actively look for the lessons contained in all mistakes. You then use that lesson to alter the behavior or behaviors that caused the mistake to occur. Once altered, that particular mistake becomes impossible to repeat. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] The problem is that many people will put off doing this work. Why? Because it is easier to remain where you are, unsatisfied and unfulfilled, than it is to change the behaviors that cause you to be unsatisfied and unfulfilled to begin with. The result is painful procrastination. You are aware that you need to change the behavior that causes you to fail. You are also aware that changing those behaviors will be uncomfortable. So, you do nothing. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] If you find yourself in this situation, take the bull by the horns and face the discomfort that embracing your imperfections brings. If you don’t brave the change, you will remain where you are and, in the long run, the price of remaining stuck is far greater than the price of moving forward.   Here’s a few things to remember… [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2309″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

Small Steps

  All change, positive or negative, is incremental. Nothing changes, for good or for bad, absolutely or all at once. Change is gradual and needs to be viewed in that way. When you begin embracing your imperfections it is important to remember that the most important word is “beginning”. You are at the start of what can be, and perhaps should be, a lifelong process. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither will the positive changes that embracing imperfection brings. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1579″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

Every journey consists of a series of steps…

  Impatience or frustration at the pace of the process will only serve to kill your enthusiasm. You need to remember that you are on a journey. Every journey consists of a series of steps. These steps must be taken in a certain order and they must be taken continually and with a will. You cannot arrive at your destination before you leave. You cannot skip over a portion of the path and still get to where you want to go. You have to have the patience and the perseverance to see the journey through to the end. The only way to accomplish this is by enjoying each day that you’ve traveled, knowing that you are one step closer to your goal.

When it comes to embracing imperfections, here’s a tool for your success tool box!

[/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1558″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] This 6000+ word, 24 page eBook is the perfect tool to help you on your new start.   It focuses on the following subjects:

  • The Reality of Imperfection
  • We Are All Flawed
  • Imperfections Are Authentic
  • How to Embrace Imperfection
  • Wabi Sabi – Appreciating Beauty in an Imperfect World
  • Self Confidence – Empowering Imperfection

If you are ready for your new start and want access to this powerful information then Click the button below! [/or_column_text][or_button text_title=”Buy Now!” custom_style=”yes” border_radius=”522px” bg_color=”#5B3BFF” text_color=”rgba(0,0,0,1)” link=”https://giftedgenie.dpdcart.com/product/135350||_blank” size=”large” bg_color_hover=”#3BFFFF”][or_spacing height=”48px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”medium” image_source=”media_library” image=”2199″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] Beverly Jones-Durr is a Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life and Business Strategist, Author and Educational Facilitator. She is known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path so that they can get stuff done. She creates courses that help you to develop your authentic self, build a positive and powerful mindset and create real time action plans that are both attainable and measureable. When you subscribe to Bev’s List of Action Sheros, you will get instant access to  “Four Road Blocks Keeping You from Getting What You Want”, a four part video series that puts you on course to mastering all areas of your life as a gift.  You can also follow Beverly 0n TwitterFaceBook and YouTube . [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”6px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1639″ image_align=”center”][/or_column][/or_row]

Loving Your Imperfect Body

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Big Business

In our society today, body image has become not only big business, but a big issue as well. Clothing, beauty products, anti-aging products, fitness products and services…we like to look good! And that’s a great thing, when it’s healthy confidence we’re after.

All too often, though, our own body image becomes skewed, and we find we’re not comfortable in our own skin. This is when unhealthy – and even harmful – habits can crop up and become a problem.

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Unhappy Self Image

Did you know that studies have shown that children as young as five years old have expressed unhappiness with how their bodies look? Half of all little girls, and one-third of little boys, between the ages of six and eight think they are too heavy and that they should weigh less. Five-to-eight year olds who view their mothers as unhappy with their bodies are more likely to be unhappy with their own.

These study results prove that there is a definite issue with body image that only gets worse as children reach puberty and young adulthood where there is more pressure to look a certain way, to be “cool” and accepted.

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What can we do about it?

First, if you’re a parent, have confidence in your own unique look and shape. Strive to become healthier, and let your children see and hear that – not that you’re trying to “lose weight” or “get skinnier”. Project a positive body image yourself, and support your kids in being the healthiest they can be, while being confident in their own skin.

If you’re not a parent, but have an unhealthy body image yourself, practice looking in the mirror and saying, “I am perfect in my imperfection.” There is only one you – and that is a unique and beautiful person who is full of greatness! Positive affirmations will reach your brain on a subconscious level, and make it easier for you to take the action you need in order to make those positive affirmations reality.

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Be comfortable and confident in how you look

Learn to recognize negative thought patterns. When you do have a negative thought, stop and recognize it, then turn it around so that it has a positive spin. This one skill will translate into many different areas of your life – not just your body image! You’ll be surprised at how many negative thoughts you have every day – and this gives you plenty of chances to practice positive thinking!

Be comfortable and confident in how you look, and strive to achieve a healthy body, and state of mind!

Can Public Speaking Skills Benefit Everybody?

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Let’s talk about Fear…

Did you know that the biggest fear most school age children have is being called on by the teacher?  Not because they aren’t prepared as some may not be, but more often because the idea of speaking in front of a group of people paralyzes them.  Who hasn’t been there?  The teacher calls your name, you stand and when you try to speak…nothing comes to mind.  Confident public speaking is a crucial skill that is often overlooked and under-developed in a child’s formative years, yet it can make a huge impact on how well your child sees his potential as well as how they develop and succeed in school. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text] A child who can effectively communicate orally with peers or an audience is likely to be viewed in a more positive light by others and develop a stronger sense of self- worth. Children who are able to demonstrate the ability to develop a command of public speaking will not only help them in school, but also empower them in many situations they encounter throughout life.   Learning the skill of public speaking is a great tool for children to master regardless of how young they are. Developing this art with a strong clear voice and body language will help them all through their journey in school and life. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1438″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

You Can’t Avoid Public Speaking Situations

Whether your child attends public or private school, one thing is certain: they will be called upon to do oral presentations in front of their classmates and teachers. And while some kids flourish the spotlight and relish being called up to the front of the class to read or present a report, others will get absolutely panic-stricken and overwhelmed.   As a parent, you can help your child to embrace and even thrive in these pressure-packed situations.  Here’s the reality: public speaking skills are seldom taught in public school, and sometimes not even at private schools. The encouraging news is that even the shyest, most introverted kids can overcome their inhibitions and evolve into confident, credible public speakers. And once they learn the key elements of public speaking, many previously timid public speakers learn to enjoy it and actively seek out opportunities to use and grow their newfound abilities. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1627″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

Benefits of Teaching Public Speaking to Kids

A great program, like Speech Crafters Club that helps kids develop as public speakers can work wonders on kids in terms of boosting their self-confidence levels and teaching them new skills. Public speaking programs can offer your kids the following:

  1. Improved Communication Skills

A big part of successful public speaking is communicating ideas clearly and well. Bringing clarity to communication takes practice. The ability to speak clearly and express your thoughts to others in such a way as to be understood and heard is an important tool for a successful life.  Public speaking programs give kids plenty of opportunities to practice putting their ideas into words. Most children develop a new sense of how to communicate their own unique messages to the world. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

  1. Enhanced Self-Esteem

As previously mentioned, one of the major advantages of public speaking for kids is that it can enhance their self-confidence. Getting up in front of a group of people can be incredibly intimidating, but once a child does it, he or she often feels a great sense of pride and accomplishment for overcoming a fear.  Enhancing a child’s confidence and self-esteem empowers them. They learn to overcome nervousness, organize their words and present ideas convincingly. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1439″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

  1. Planning Management

Statistics indicate that kids don’t develop good planning skills until they’re adolescents. This has to do partly with the way our brains are developed and partly with the fact that children are told how to spend their time and what action to take most of the time. Public speaking requires that kids plan, prepare and present speeches that they’ve written and in turn, it allows them to work on thinking ahead, a skill that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

  1. The Power of Persuasion

The most important goal of a speech is to convince or demonstrate something to the audience. Public speaking programs teach kids persuasive skills. Leaders are excellent persuaders.  Once children develop this ability, the potential is limitless in terms of the beneficial influence they can have on others. [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1382″ image_align=”center”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

Can Public Speaking Lessons Benefit Every Child?

While not every student has dreams of being student council president, there are many other school and social situations where public speaking skills are essential. Situations like oral reporting, in-class reading, joint projects, assemblies, sports, school plays, school clubs, and even fundraisers requiring door-to-door solicitations.  Students who are home-schooled don’t encounter a lot of these interpersonal situations and because of this can greatly benefit from a public speaking program.   If your child is shy or has a voice that could use some additional projection and/or authority, then public speaking instruction could improve those things and more. But even an outgoing child with good projection can gain a lot from learning the subtle art of communication to become a more engaging speaker. Learning to be an authoritative and comfortable public speaker is essential. Every child has the capacity to make a positive verbal impression on people every single day, so why not make the most of those opportunities by strengthening those communication skills? [/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”50%”][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2191″ image_align=”left” caption=”Speech Crafters Club Summer Workshop”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][or_column width=”50%”][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”2188″ image_align=”left” caption=”Speech Crafters Club Summer Workshop”][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

Speech Crafters Club: The ONLY Public Speaking Club for Children and Teens in Alabama!

Speech Crafters Club is an after-school public speaking program for children and young adults.  Speech Crafters Club is dedicated to enhancing, encouraging and developing amazing public speakers.  Each year we conduct two workshops! Workshops include snacks, beverage, downloadable workbook, and lots of fun!  Use the link below to register. For more information check out our website: www.speechcrafters.club

REGISTRATION IS OPEN NOW!

[/or_column_text][or_spacing height=”34px”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”50%”][or_column_text] Beverly Jones-Durr is Executive Director for Speech Crafters Club and The Writer’s Vibe, which are both programs for kids. Beverly facilitates the learning experience of each member helping them to develop their voice, confidence, self-esteem and abilities to become dynamic public speakers. Beverly Jones-Durr is Vice President of Education for the Hi-Noon Toastmasters Club, and a member of  the Women Speakers Association (WSA), International Women’s Leadership Association (IWLA), International Membership of Professional Advisors, Coaches and Trainers (IMPACT) and the International Association of Professional Life Coaches (IAPLC).  Beverly is also a published author whose book, Nurturing a Grateful Heart – Power of Possibilities and the interactive Journal has been selected as one of the Top 10 Inspirational Books by Aspire Magazine. [/or_column_text][/or_column][or_column width=”50%”][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1742″ image_align=”left”][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1639″ image_align=”left”][/or_column][/or_row]

Lessons Children Learn from parents: Boundaries & Commitment

[or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1952″ image_align=”center”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]     Boundaries   Boundaries are a very important part of life. They give us the ability to say “no” when necessary. Without boundaries, we could be used or taken advantage of. An individual who cannot draw healthy boundaries is a danger to themselves.   Learning the lesson of boundaries is important for a child because it will give them the confidence to resist when they are being pressured to engage in dangerous activities with friends, or when unsafe adults try to trample their boundaries. Setting boundaries as an adult will help your child to maintain mutually beneficial friendships where they are not being used, and will help them to avoid personal burnout – whether physical or emotional.   Teach your child boundaries first and foremost by respecting theirs. It is not easy to hear the word “no” from your child, but it is part of how they form their boundaries with other people. Help them learn ways to say it to you respectfully, but give them the opportunity to say it, and to make their own choices as often as possible. Let your child hear you say “no” to other people when you are asked to do something you don’t have the time or energy for. Example is the best teacher.   [/or_column_text][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_single_image image_size=”large” image_source=”media_library” image=”1953″ image_align=”center”][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]   Commitment   Commitment means keeping the promises you made long after you lose the feeling of inspiration you had when you made the promise in the first place. Commitment is what gives you a reputation of being true to your word, and it is a huge part of being dependable and trustworthy.   When you take commitment seriously, you make the world a better place for everyone around you. Commitment will help your child be a valuable team player in regards to any group they are part of, and will set the stage to give them the practice of being a committed adult.   As an adult, commitment will give your child the integrity necessary to keep their promises even when they no longer want to. It will make them a better partner, parent, employee, employer and friend. It will put them a step above the rest of the individuals around them.   Teach your child commitment by encouraging them to stick with their decisions. If your child has signed up for a season of basketball, encourage them not to drop out unless a serious reason permits it. Set the example of a committed person by not dropping out of your own responsibilities. Set this example, especially in your relationship with your child. If you promise your child an ice cream, make sure you keep the promise. If you promise to be at their big game or recital, be there.   There are many lessons that are valuable to a child as they grow up. The ones I’ve covered in this series serve as a great start in preparing a child to be a healthy adult, and a valuable member of society. Teach these lessons with love, and in the best interest of your child. Model each of these lessons, for they mean nothing if we do not hold ourselves to the same standard. As it is said, practice what you preach.   Parenting a child and giving them all the lessons they need to live a good life is not an easy task, but it can be done. If you missed any part of the series don’t worry. My downloadable ebook titled “Lessons Every Child Needs To Learn and How To Teach Them”, contains everything I covered in this blog series. Simply click on the title.   Start with this list and add on to your child’s life education as you see fit. Your hard work will not go unrewarded. You will be pleased to someday see your child loving themselves, and working hard to serve both themselves and those around them. These life lessons will go a long way in making the world a better place.     [/or_column_text][/or_column][/or_row][or_row][or_column width=”12/12″][or_column_text]

Coach Beverly Jones-DurrBeverly Jones-Durr is an Author, Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life Purpose Coach and Educational Facilitator. She is founder of Every Child Has a Story which is home to The Writer’s Vibe and  Speech Crafters Club – The Only Public Speaking Club for Kids and Teens in Alabama!” Beverly empowers young people to command their voice, feelings, ideals, energy and intellect and use all of that to boost their communication skills. Speech Crafters Club is a safe place for members age 8 and up to explore creativity and enhance their communication skills. What’s the back door benefits? We’re building and enhancing Self Esteem and Self Confidence one child at a time! The Writer’s Vibe empowers kids to use words to write stories only they can write and become stellar wordsmiths whose talents will no doubt someday change the world. The Writers Vibe program launches in 2017. Check us out and prepare to be amazed!  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest

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Lesson Children Learn From Parents: Consequences

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Let’s Talk About Consequences

 

We are all familiar with consequences. But just to be clear, consequences are basically the outcome of one’s decision and choices. Consequences can be good or bad, but in either case this is an important lesson for a child to learn. Good decisions generally result in good consequences, and bad decisions generally result in bad consequences.

 

Why is it important for children to know about this?  Because it helps give them motivation to behave respectfully. As adults, it is a good principle to know because it is how the world generally works, and learning this lesson when young helps an individual to figure out the world in a less frustrating way.  There are so many road blocks that can be avoided when you are giving consequences to your child. Let’s talk about “What not to do.”

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First, throw away unrealistic expectations. Parents who expect their highly energetic, rambunctious three-year-old to sit quietly through story time at the library and then gets angry when she doesn’t isn’t being fair. Yes, that’s right. I used the “F” word. If you know your child is unlikely to be able to follow through on something, don’t put your child in a position to fail. Instead, know your child’s strengths and weaknesses and adjust your expectations accordingly.

 

 

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These weaknesses are areas in which you play a big part by demonstrating and allowing your child to practice until it improves. Can I just say this? Having a long, drawn-out discussion with a four-year-old about why you are upset that he’s biting kids at his playgroup is useless. Stop doing that. Kids are so not interested in your lectures. Think back to when you were their age, were you? In these situations, simple is better. Saying something like, “We don’t bite,” and then giving a consequence is the best course of action.

 

 

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Second, I want you to decide upon one or two consequences for each rule broken and stick to them. Yelling, bribing and discussing his actions at great length would simply be confusing to a child. Please stop counting! It’s important to realize that kids are geniuses at knowing when their parents are wearing down and not confident in their own decisions. Using the “countdown method” is a waste of air. Approaching your child with confidence and a consistent consequence each time is your best line of defense.

 

 

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Teaching consequences is a natural means of discipline. If a child disobeys your request not to throw his special ceramic toy around, it may end up broken as a result. (Who gives a child a ceramic toy anyway?)  Sorry, I digressed. You may choose to implement a consequence such as removing the toy in order to make sure it doesn’t get broken. When your child has obeyed your request, he will find that he is given more privileges because he has shown himself to be trustworthy. Teaching consequences will help your child make good choices and live well in the world.

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Coach Beverly Jones-DurrBeverly Jones-Durr is an Author, Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life Purpose Coach and Educational Facilitator. She is founder of Every Child Has a Story which is home to The Writer’s Vibe and  Speech Crafters Club – The Only Public Speaking Club for Kids and Teens in Alabama!” Beverly empowers young people to command their voice, feelings, ideals, energy and intellect and use all of that to boost their communication skills. Speech Crafters Club is a safe place for members age 8 and up to explore creativity and enhance their communication skills. What’s the back door benefits? We’re building and enhancing Self Esteem and Self Confidence one child at a time! The Writer’s Vibe empowers kids to use words to write stories only they can write and become stellar wordsmiths whose talents will no doubt someday change the world. The Writers Vibe program launches in 2017. Check us out and prepare to be amazed!  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest

 

Lessons Children Learn From Parents : Integrity

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Integrity, defined by Webster is, “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.” Integrity is born in every person’s mind and heart. It is also a mind-set you needed to continue to develop.  Integrity demonstrates who you really and what you really believe about right and wrong, good and evil. Integrity is seen not in just one act of goodness, but in your entire character.

So, how do we as parents teach integrity to our children? First, you must ask yourself if you are actually modeling a life of integrity that your children can follow. Integrity is taught by what we say, how we say it, what we do and how we do it.  Let’s take a closer look at each of these methods.

 

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What We Say: My father always told me that my word is my bond. All he meant was when you speak with people they need to be able to trust that you will be true to your word.  When you understand and demonstrate this concept, you will find that you’ll be much more likely to speak truth and follow through with what you’ve said and people will trust your words.  In other words, (no pun intended) make sure that your “yes” mean yes and your “no” mean no.

 

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How We Say It: If occasionally you find yourself speaking to your children in a sarcastic or condescending tone of voice, stop it.  Patience is indeed a virtue and it can be hard sometimes to maintain. However as parents we need to be mindful of our tones and attitudes. You have to replace this attitude with a patient demeanor.  Holding on to your integrity by honoring your family in the way you talk to them on a daily basis strengthens your integrity and becomes a great example of what integrity sounds like.

 

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What We Do:  This one is probably the most obvious, and is the most important way to teach your kids integrity. You have to lead by example.  If you tell your kids that smoking is bad for them and that they shouldn’t smoke, yet you smoke everyday…what do you think the message is that you are conveying to the kids? Kids often imitate what we do more so that what we say. Start being a model for your kids and live a life of integrity that they can follow.

 

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How We Do It:  We were washing cars at a car wash for charity when this lady pulled up and asked to have her car washed. She paid the $5 for her car wash, but when putting her wallet in her purse she dropped a 20 dollar bill. My son picked it up and instantly returned to the lady. That’s integrity in action. When you teach kids to do their best in everything with excellence, even when no one is watching, integrity will show up.

 

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Integrity includes the important trait of honesty, keeping one’s word and being dependable. Integrity is a quality that becomes a way in which you are known as a person. An individual with integrity is someone who can be trusted always, whose word is never questioned, and who is known as someone with a high code of moral conduct. Even children who display integrity are known for having this quality, and children who don’t show this quality find it difficult to convince anyone to trust them. When your child becomes an adult, he (or she) will find integrity to be a key value that will unlock doors in the business sector and in his personal life, as people treasure this quality that he holds. A way that you can show your child how to live with integrity is to live with integrity yourself. Keep your promises, and do what you say you will do. Be honest, and never make your child feel that they need to doubt what you have told them.

 

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Coach Beverly Jones-DurrBeverly Jones-Durr is founder of Every Child Has a Story which is home to The Writer’s Vibe and  Speech Crafters Club – The Only Public Speaking Club for Kids and Teens in Alabama!”  Beverly empowers young people to command their voice, feelings, ideals, energy and intellect and use all of that to boost their communication skills. Speech Crafters Club is a safe place for members age 8 and up to explore creativity and enhance their communication skills all while enhancing self-esteem and confidence. The Writer’s Vibe empowers kids to use words to write stories only they can write and become stellar wordsmiths whose talents will no doubt someday change the world. The Writers Vibe program launches in 2017. Check us out and prepare to be amazed!  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest

 

 

Lessons Children Learn from Parents – Raising a Teachable Child

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One of the greatest hindrances to any individual’s personal growth is a lack of being teachable. Being teachable ensures that we are always willing to learn, and that we are open to advice. Learning this quality as a young child will help them learn how to facilitate their own personal growth and changes that will undoubtedly occur. As an adult, this openness will draw the assistance of others who are willing to share what they have learned.

 

 

 

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So what exactly is teachable and what are the characteristics we want to achieve?

 

 

  • You’re aware of the limitations of your own knowledge and abilities.
  • You admit limitation, inability, and ignorance to others who can teach and help.
  • You regularly ask for help, instruction, guidance, and advice (before the event, not after disaster strikes).
  • You learn from anyone and everyone you can (the best educator I know writes notes for his own benefit even when listening to a less experienced educator).
  • You listen to others carefully and patiently with a desire to learn from everyone.
  • You’re prepared to move out of your comfort zone, try something different, make mistakes, look stupid, answer wrongly, etc.
  • You don’t give up when you fail at something, but seek help, and try again and again until you get it right.
  • You’re willing to change your views and practices when convincing evidence is presented to you, even if it means admitting you were wrong.

 

 

 

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There’s another word for teachable…Humility.

Parents can help their children become teachable by talking about why it is important to learn from others. Discuss how it is a privilege to receive advice. Talk to your child about how there will be times when they do not appreciate the tone the advice is given in, or other factors such as the individual delivering the advice. Despite how difficult it can be to receive correction from someone, talk about how we can each make it our goal to take away at least one beneficial thing from every conversation.

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Nothing stays the same. And in case you haven’t noticed, this especially applies to children! Changes in children’s behavior and life in general vary from one developmental stage to another. Whatever the change, it often creates emotional stress for child and parent alike. But change in and of itself isn’t necessarily bad — or even hard on children. In fact, if your child is teachable change can be deemed interesting. And it exposes children to broader experiences and encourages new skills and abilities. A teachable child who becomes a teachable adult is a success indeed.

 

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Coach Beverly Jones-DurrBeverly Jones-Durr is an Author, Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life Purpose Coach and Educational Facilitator. She is founder of Every Child Has a Story which is home to The Writer’s Vibe and  Speech Crafters Club – The Only Public Speaking Club for Kids and Teens in Alabama!”  Beverly empowers young people to command their voice, feelings, ideals, energy and intellect and use all of that to boost their communication skills. Speech Crafters Club is a safe place for members age 8 and up to explore creativity and enhance their communication skills all while enhancing self-esteem and confidence. The Writer’s Vibe empowers kids to use words to write stories only they can write and become stellar wordsmiths whose talents will no doubt someday change the world. The Writers Vibe program launches in 2017. Check us out and prepare to be amazed!  You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest

Lessons Children Learn From Parents

 

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There are certain lessons that will serve every child well to have learned by the time they are an adult. The younger your child learns these lessons, the better prepared they will be for life and all it brings their way. There are so many qualities that a child must learn to become a mature adult, so take each opportunity to help your child learn whatever they can from any situation in their life. Situations present themselves often, and these lessons are there to help us grow to become more well-rounded and useful individuals. As a parent you can use these as opportunities to guide your child in their personal journey to become responsible and respectful adults.  I am sure you’ve learned these lessons already, but it is worth mentioning here because parents have often asked me “How do I guide my children in these areas?” During the month of November, I will be addressing these lessons in my weekly posts. Make sure that you are on the list so that you can receive each one.  Let’s dive right in and talk about RESPECT…

 

 

 

 

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Respect

 

This is one of life’s most important lessons. Respect is basically treating others as you would like to be treated. Without this quality, a child will find life to be very difficult. Respect will assist your child now because adults will view your child more favorably if your child displays this quality.

As adults we forget that children aren’t born with a built-in sense of respect for others. All children regardless of their unique personalities have to be taught to be respectful. Think about how babies are able to manipulate us in order to get their needs met… this is natural for them. But it’s our job as parents to teach them respectful ways of doing this as they grow.

It’s important to remember that your child is not your friend—your child is your child. Your job is to teach them to be able to function in the world. This means teaching him to behave respectfully to others and not just you.

Whether  you are a Baby Boomer or Generation X, it is a different world right now than the one we grew up. Today we wonder why kids have gotten so much more disrespectful these days—we see children and teens arguing with or ignoring adults, using foul language, copping an attitude and not using manners or respecting those in authority. This just means that we have our work cut out for us and will have to work harder as parents to teach our kids to be respectful. Added to this already exhausting situation is the fact that parents are also busier than ever before, which makes it much harder to respond immediately to our kids. Let’s face it, it’s easier to let things slide when you’re worn out and stressed from working countless hours to feed, clothe and provide a home for them. Here are a few reminders to guide you as you begin to change the culture in your own house if disrespectful behavior lives with you.

 

 

 

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Your Child Doesn’t Need Another BFF

 

 It’s not about your child liking you or even thanking you for what you do. It might not seem like it, but your child needs you to set boundaries, teach the hard lessons and protect them. They don’t know what they don’t know…but you do. Your job is to coach them to be able to function in the world. This means teaching them to behave respectfully towards others, and especially you. When you think your child might be crossing the line, ask yourself, “Would I let the neighbor say these things to me? Would I let a stranger?” If the answer is no, don’t let your child do it, either. Some day when your child becomes an adult, your relationship may become more of a friendship, but for now, it’s your job to be parent: teacher, coach and limit setter…not the BFF who lets them get away with things and do whatever they want to do.  Remember, your child can make many friends, but has been given one set of parents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Address Disrespect Early

 

This can be a little difficult but it’s always a good thing to catch disrespectful behavior as early if possible. If your child is rude or disrespectful, don’t turn a blind eye. Intervene and say, “We don’t talk to each other that way in this family.”  Giving consequences when your kids are younger is going to pay off in the long run. It’s really important as a parent if you see your child being disrespectful to admit it and then address it. I love it when Iyanla Vanzant says, “Let’s call a thing a thing!” Don’t be afraid to address disrespect. Plan your contingency in advance, don’t wait until it shows up.  If you have young kids…they will eventually move into the potentially difficult phase…Teens! Trust me when I say these can be challenging years. Lay the groundwork now and fine-tune your skills to be prepared for their interactions at a later time. This will be very beneficial to you as a parent moving forward together as a family.

 

 

 

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Make Sure You and Your Mate are on The Same Page

 

It’s so important for you and your mate to be on the same page when it comes to your child’s behavior. Make sure one of you isn’t allowing the disrespectful behavior while the other is trying to intercede. Children are truly brilliant when it comes to parental divide and conquer. If you both are not on the same page when dealing with disrespectful behavior…They Will Know. Sit down together and talk about what your bottom lines are and come up with a plan of action you both can agree on that lists of consequences you might give if your child breaks the rules.

 

 

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Teach Your Child Basic Social Mannerisms

 

This one may sound old fashioned, but it’s very important to teach your child basic manners. Coming up I was taught to address adults with “please” and “thank you.” Today, I have to admit I don’t hear much of that. When your child deals with teachers in school or gets that first job interview and has these skills to fall back on, it will really be beneficial. Understand that using manners, just a simple “excuse me” or “thank you” is also a form of empathy. A dose of empathy teaches your kids to respect others and acknowledges their impact on other people.

Although adults should live in a way that commands instead of demands respect, many also expect it to be shown by children. Your child will be given more opportunities if they are viewed to be a respectful child. As an adult, your child will flourish in their personal and business relationships. The best way a parent can teach their child this crucial quality is to live in this manner themselves. Respect the people around you and don’t talk down about other individuals. Respect your child, which gives them the self-acceptance needed to grow in this quality, and lets them experience being on the receiving end of respect. Remember, your children imitate what they see you do,  so if respect is important to you your actions must indicate it.  Don’t miss next weeks posts. Join the Every Child Has a Story community. Our mission is to build self-esteem and confidence in today’s youth!

 

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Every Child Has a Story | Beverly Jones-Durr

 

 

  bev-artisto  Beverly Jones-Durr is an Author, Dynamic Speaker, Certified Life Purpose Coach and Educational Facilitator. She is founder of Every Child Has a Story which houses Speech Crafters Club and The Writer’s Vibe. As Director at Speech Crafters Club, “The Only Public Speaking Club for Kids and Teens in Alabama”, Beverly empowers young people to command their voice, feelings, ideals, energy and intellect and use all of that to boost their communication skills. Speech Crafters Club is a safe place for members age 8 and up to explore creativity and enhance their communication skills all while enhancing self-esteem and confidence. The Writer’s Vibe is a program that empowers youth to use words to write stories only they can write and become stellar wordsmiths whose talents will no doubt someday change the world. The Writers Vibe program launches in 2017.  Check us out and prepare to be amazed! You can also follow Beverly 0n Twitter, FaceBook and Pinterest ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Image (2)175 x 175 imagepurposecert-key-1b3980f36280ed163bc048aaf47b819fcedc3bb9

 

 

So, What’s Your Story?

I have always had a vivid imagination, especially as a child.  I could open a book and clearly imagine myself talking, dancing and interacting with all the characters. Having a vivid imagination can be a lifesaver.  It saved my life more times than I can count.  As a child I lived with low self-esteem, bullying, physical abuse and things a child shouldn’t have to endure.  I’m not telling you this for sympathy. I am telling you this because in spite of all those things… 

 

 

 

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I became a Conqueror.

 

 

 

 

Guess what? I am not the only one.  There are countless children who are growing up today having to deal with situations that can knock anyone off balance…. children who have a hard time articulating their feelings verbally to anyone.  One summer my Aunt Vera gave me a journal.  She told me that I had sad eyes and that there was a time when she had sad eyes too.  She said that she drew pictures until she could form the words to describe how she felt inside.    

 

 

 

 

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I have been journaling ever since.

 

 

 

When you look around at the people who pass you by… at work…in your office…on the streets or even the children in your neighborhood, do you ever wonder what their story might be? We see our children every day, but do we really see them or are they simply familiar glimpses we’ve gotten accustomed to seeing?  Do you know what your children are feeling…thinking…struggling with daily?  I know that as parents we want to be able to answer “yes” to all those questions. Truthfully, life can get in the way and as much as we hate to admit…we can’t see or know everything.

 

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A child that can articulate his or her feelings, thoughts and opinions has a collection of valuable tools for their success. Frustration can lead to serious issues when your feelings are stifled or confused. Children who don’t command this communicative ability take a direct hit to their self-esteem and confidence. It is as though they aren’t seen or heard and for them it also feels like no one cares. A healthy self-esteem is critical for all God’s children regardless of age.  We must help our children to find their voice and understand their value.

 

 

 

 

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What can you do?

 

 

 

Good question!  Encourage your children to talk to you.  Demonstrate to them that they can talk to you about anything by listening to understand and not to comment or judge. If your child isn’t talking to you, perhaps you could provide them a journal.  Respect their privacy…you are building a foundation that opens the door to communicating with your child.  Be patient. Pay attention.  Children often wear their feelings out in the open.  My Aunt Vera noticed my sad eyes and I am grateful that she did. Most important…tell your child how much you love them and find ways to show them. Children don’t need things as much as they need YOU.  

 

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My parents did their best, they loved me and I know they tried hard, but it was the journal I got from my Aunt Vera that helped me the most.  It opened my eyes and heart to hear and see their love for me. Knowing that my parents loved me helped me to love myself. When you love yourself, you understand that you have a purpose and a reason to be alive.  I also realized that I was valuable.  I never refer to myself as a “survivor” because for me it sounds like I’m just hanging on by my fingernails.  I am a “Conqueror” because I no longer allow my past to define or make choices for me. Every child has a story.  With love and support from you, your child, in time will find the courage and confidence to share that story.  

 

 

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Every Child Has a Story

 

 

 

Want more information about programs to help children and teens find their voice? Check out this link: www.speechcrafters.club

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BevJonesdurr

 

Speech Crafters Club is a program within Beverly Jones-Durr Enterprises. As Executive Director for Speech Crafters Club and The Writer’s Vibe, Beverly facilitates the learning experience of each member age 8 and up, helping them to develop their voice, confidence, self-esteem and abilities to become dynamic public speakers and amazing authors.

 

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Beverly Jones-Durr is Vice President of Education for the Hi-Noon Toastmasters Club, and a member of  the Women Speakers Association (WSA), International Women’s Leadership Association (IWLA), International Membership of Professional Advisors, Coaches and Trainers (IMPACT) and the International Association of Professional Life Coaches (IAPLC).  Beverly is also a published author whose book, Nurturing a Grateful Heart – Power of Possibilities and the interactive Journal has been selected as one of the Top 10 Inspirational Books by Aspire Magazine.

You can also follow Beverly 0n TwitterFaceBook and YouTube

 

 

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