It is normal to have varying levels of confidence in different situations. There are also times when your confidence will waiver and suffer as you go through life. This is especially true if you live life to the fullest, and put yourself out there. In fact, if you take chances and try new things, then you can expect that things will not always go your way. The only way to avoid failure is to stay in your house, and not try anything new, but what kind of life is that?
Situations such as job layoffs, a relationship breakup, or a failing grade on a paper in school can drastically make you question your abilities, and negatively impact your confidence. Fortunately, you do not have to let the negative things in life hold you back. Here are a few ideas to help you bounce back when your confidence takes a hit.
Acknowledge your feelings –
This may sound rather simplistic, but it is true. You need time to process your feelings and what has happened, but you do not want to dwell on them for a long time. Otherwise, you will end up wallowing in self-pity. Ways to process your feelings can include time spent talking and visiting with trusted friends and family, or writing down your thoughts and feelings in a notebook.
Get back into the ring quickly –
After you acknowledge your feelings, the key is that you not get caught up in those feelings for an extended period of time or they will wear you down, and keep you from growing in confidence. Many people often think you either have confidence or you don’t, but the truth is that you can always continue to grow in your confidence in various areas of your life. So if you have encountered a big setback, it is vital that you step into the ring again. It is the only way that you can improve your confidence, because the only way to win at life is to fail sometimes too. Wayne Gretzky, NHL hockey superstar, has a saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” This is a great reminder that if you want to tackle something, you just have to go out and do it. Realize that failing is part of winning, and that the two go hand in hand.
Break big tasks down into smaller ones –
When you have experienced a setback, everything can seem so overwhelming. Remember the saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, “One bite at a time.” Therefore, the aim to improving your confidence is to work on it daily by mastering smaller skills that then lead to bigger gains. So think about something that you do well, and go out and do it. Before you know it, small successes lead to bigger successes, and your confidence also improves.
Truthfully we have all had our fair share of confidence attacks. We can’t control the attacks but we can control how we respond. I have put together a comprehensive eBook to help you manage your response to confidence attacks. With the right tools you will develop the necessary skills and mindset shift to create “Unwavering Confidence.”
Beverly Jones-Durr is known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path. She is the creator of Sistahs Unlimited, a program that teaches women to develop their authentic selves and create a positive and powerful mindset while developing action plans that are both attainable and measureable. JOIN the Sistahs Unlimited Community today and learn how to live your best life! You can also follow Beverly on Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube