Inner Power: Time to look closer.



What is Inner Power?


Inner power is the ability to use what you have to accomplish the goals you’ve set. Have you checked your inner power levels lately? Most of us are operating on inner power levels that are pretty low. Why?  Because we have given a significant chunk of our power away! When I’m asked by a client or one of my readers what does it mean when one is said to be giving away their power, my response is simple.  By allowing other people’s actions, beliefs and opinions to affect our choices, decisions and actions we are handing our power over to them gift-wrapped on a silver platter.  If you are still a bit unclear about what it means to give your power away…consider for a moment the following list of examples.





Scrambling for your worth…


This includes perfecting, pretending, pleasing, and proving yourself to others. I’ll break it down for you. If you’re somehow feeling unworthy of love and acceptance of who you are chances are you might find yourself going overboard attempting to please everyone by doing things you don’t really want to do, or saying yes when you really want to be saying no. This, my friend is the viral insanity of perfection.  Scrambling and hustling to ensure everything is tied up with a pretty shiny bow, hiding your feelings that might not look so pretty and working on making your outsides look like you got it going on when actually you’re falling apart inside. Pretending might look like saying, “Fine” when really everything isn’t. Proving is that constant drive to show the world that you are good enough and therefore worthy while attempting to cover up what’s really happening inside.





Tolerating toxic relationships…


 Everyone has someone in their life that ranges from irritating to totally life-sucking vampire. It could be a family member, friend, co-worker, anyone. If you’re tolerating these people and their toxic behavior, you’re essentially giving them a part of you that isn’t being reciprocated. Furthermore if you’re putting up with their toxicities, you’ve built a wall that not only keeps you from the kind of relationships that you really want and deserve, but also keeps those relationships from even seeing you.



Being overly passive…


 Some people are naturally passive. And if that’s your inherent personality, that’s truly okay. However, when you fail to stand up for yourself, when you have that feeling in the pit of your gut that tells you that you’ve been wronged and you do nothing about it, you’ve given your power away. If you consistently look the other way when you are being wronged, spoken to harshly or even physically abused, usually it originates from a place inside of you that is controlled by fear and lack of healthy self-confidence.





Letting your dreams just be dreams…



This one is huge for me! You have dreams, we all do. Maybe it’s not to be the next President of the United States; maybe it’s just to be happier, or healthy. Whatever it is, if you lay around and wish for it, and your next thoughts are, “But, I can’t because……” you’re cheating yourself. That’s a common excuse we’ve picked up along the way and it simply needs to go because you are sleeping on your dreams.  That’s also called giving away your power.





Being manipulated 


The primary goal of a manipulator is to control others in order to get what they want.  The process might vary, but usually it involves threatening, shaming you or putting you down.  By not standing up for yourself, not setting boundaries, or by making excuses for your manipulator, you’re giving your power away.  Don’t let fear keep you from making your own decisions.




Not believing in yourself… 


Power and how you use it is directly determined by how you feel about YOU. I read someplace that we are born looking like our parents but we die looking like our choices. Each and every time you choose to give your power away, you’re acknowledging to yourself and the world that when it comes to believing in you, there’s room for improvement.





Allowing your inner impostor to make decisions…


Your inner impostor reminds you constantly that you are not good enough, incapable, unlovable and unimportant. It’s that “Who do you think you are?” voice we hear in our heads over and over again. When you allow this constant replay in your head you are giving your power away. Your inner impostor wants you to live in fear of the unknown, paralyzed in indecision, and stuck. It’s the main supplier of your quicksand.

Answer the questions below and evaluate how much power you give away…and then Take It Back!

  1. Who or what do I blame for any of my negative situations?

  2. In what way do I feel pressure to achieve or to please?

Remember, you can’t change the past or live for others, but you have the power to free yourself and create an amazing life.



Discovering ways we have given away our power is the first step towards reclaiming it.  There’s no need to beat yourself having discovered your internal power tank is running low.  there’s a lot you can do to regain it.  Let’s continue the discussion over in my Sistahs Unlimited Facebook page.  Click HERE and I’ll join you there.   Trust me…you got this!


Beverly Jones-Durr is known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path. She is the creator of Sistahs Unlimited, a program that teaches women to develop their authentic selves and create a positive and powerful mindset while developing action plans that are both attainable and measureable.  JOIN the Sistahs Unlimited Community today and learn how to live your best life! You can also follow Beverly on TwitterFaceBook and YouTube