You want to have and experience confidence, just as much as anyone else does. However, it is easy to trick yourself into believing that confidence is only for the elite and not something that everyone can achieve.
What usually holds people back is that they believe the myths about confidence. Here are six of the most common myths about confidence.
Myth #1: You have to be good looking and successful to be confident
How successful and good looking you are has nothing to do with confidence levels. Many attractive and successful celebrities have admitted to lack of confidence in particular areas of their lives. What matters more is what you think of yourself and your abilities.
Myth #2: Confidence is something that you are born with
This is not true. Confidence is something that develops as you interact with the world. Just like you learn how to speak, write, and play your favorite sport, you can also learn how to develop confidence. You learn and develop confidence by participating in and tackling new challenges. When you succeed at things, your confidence increases. Confidence has to do with your belief in your abilities to do things.
Myth #3: Introverts are not confident; only extroverts are
Confidence has nothing to do with whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. There are confident extroverts AND confident introverts. The difference is in where introverts and extroverts draw their energy. Introverts tend to recharge through quiet time. Extroverts draw their energy from being around other people.
Myth #4: You can never develop confidence if you have had a bad childhood
Although confidence does begin to develop as a young child through childhood experiences, it is never too late to learn how to become confident. Although having a rough childhood can definitely impact your self-confidence levels, it does not mean that you have to remain stuck where you are.
You may need therapy to recover, but you will also need to develop the will to learn a new way of thinking and trying out new things. Your mindset plays an important role in developing the confidence you desire.
Myth #5: Confident people are confident in every aspect of their lives
This is false. Confidence varies depending on the situation. You may be confident teaching a dance class or a computer class, but you may lack confidence in social gatherings where you are required to mingle and speak to strangers.
Myth #6: Self confidence and self-esteem is the same thing
As previously mentioned, confidence in your ability to do things will vary depending on the situation. You may be confident in certain areas of your life, but not other ones. Self-esteem and confidence is not the same thing though. Self-esteem tends to be the same in all areas, and is more related to how you think about yourself and whether you value yourself.
If you have low self-esteem, it tends to follow you everywhere you go, resulting in less confidence to try out anything new. At the same time, there are some people with low self-esteem, who feel confident in certain areas of their life. Equally, there are those people who have healthy self-esteem, but lack confidence in other areas of their lives.
Are you struggling with your confidence?
Need to Explain
The need to explain actions is one of the signs of a lack of self-confidence. Mistakes happen to everyone, but those who have self-confidence may also feel the need to explain decisions, even if they are successful.
When people constantly complain and blame others, they may be suffering from a lack of self -confidence. This is called playing the victim card. It takes the responsibility off the person who does the complaining and puts it on those they are blaming.
When criticized, the person who lacks self-confidence quickly has an excuse for everything. Confident people will listen to the criticism and decide later whether or not it is useful.
Did you know that your body language, such as crossing the arms or legs can signal a lack of self-confidence? These gestures can represent closing off and shows anxiety and discomfort in the surroundings.
People who lack self-confidence often need the approval of others to feel validated. So long as others approval of you then you must be okay…sound familiar?
Unable to Enjoy Success
No matter how successful, a person who lacks confidence will simply chalk it up to luck rather than competency. The drive of overachievement can be intense and will block the enjoyment of success.
Fear of Change
A lack of self-confidence can also cause people to stay in uncomfortable situations. They may stay in a bad relationship or job that isn’t right for them because of a fear of change. The lack of confidence to make good decisions keeps them in negative environments. They are simply stuck!
Shame and Perfection
People who lack self-confidence may expect perfection and feel shame when they don’t achieve it. The need to be ‘perfect’ drives the ‘shame train’ and trust me…this train is going nowhere. Shame creates a mask that tricks you into looking, acting or speaking a certain way in an attempt to achieve perfection. It’s useless and unattainable.
Truthfully we have all had our fair share of confidence attacks. We can’t control the attacks but we can control how we respond. I have put together a comprehensive eBook to help you manage your response to confidence attacks. With the right tools you will develop the necessary skills and mindset shift to create “Unwavering Confidence.”
With Unwavering Confidence you will:
Manage Your Fears
Create and Maintain a Positive Mindset
Tackle Life’s Challenges
Improve Your Health
Social Peace of Mind
Do you want Unwavering Confidence?
If you want to be happier and more successful, it’s in your best interest to become more confident.
While there are more benefits to being confident than just the ones I’ve already mentioned, these are by far the most important benefits for you to understand and appreciate.
The most important factor for becoming more confident is to simply want to be more confident, and to be decisive about achieving greater confidence, regardless of whether others want you to achieve it or not. This is all about YOU!
Give Unwavering Confidence a try…you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Beverly Jones-Durr is known as the “Clarity Ninja and Mindset Shifter” because she teaches clients, consultants and other service professionals how to eliminate the fog, remove the clutter and shift their focus to their purposeful and intentional path. She is the creator of Sistahs Unlimited, a program that teaches women to develop their authentic selves and create a positive and powerful mindset while developing action plans that are both attainable and measureable. JOIN the Sistahs Unlimited Community today and learn how to live your best life! You can also follow Beverly on Twitter, FaceBook and YouTube